Hi Girls and Mums,
Girls, part of being a Mum is feeling really worried that your children are not safe, but also, feeling really worried that your children are not happy. Part of the stress you may feel when you’re around Mum is how much she wants you to be happy but she isn’t sure how to help you have the things you want.
Mums, our girls want to explore the world, and because of the threats they don’t know about, they don’t always understand why this would stress you out. To address this, the best thing to do is for Mums to establish some mini “quizzes” about areas of safety. These little quizzes should be no more than 10 questions long (we don’t want them to be overwhelming) and should include “what would you do if” situations about your particular worries. Ask your daughter these questions, and listen to her answers. If there are things you want to add or change about how she answered, wait until the end and then review all 10 again until she is able to answer all correctly. This is a good way to make sure she HAS the right information.
The second step is to make sure that she USES the right information when she needs to. Girls, the most important thing for you to do is sort out who your “person” is. At my company, Ladderbox, we say that your “person” is someone who you feel comfortable talking to who knows what you need and what you want, and knows when you’re not acting like yourself. This should be a person that you trust to make decisions for you if you are not able to make those decisions on your own, and should be a person who’s advice you will listen to even if it’s not what you want to hear. This person can be a parent, a sibling, a friend, a teacher, or anyone else who you think fits this description for you. Then, it’s your job to talk to your “person” about any new friends, new romantic interests, or new activities you want to try out. This way, you have the benefit of not only using all of your skills, but all of your “person”’s skills, too, as you make decisions!